From "Saints" to "Sinners" - LAS VEGAS!!

From “Saints” to Sinners – we finally made it to Las Vegas!

We got a super-site at the Circus Circus KOA – which basically meant that we got a patch of grass in their huge parking lot campground. The place was filled with rental RV’s – carrying Europeans taking advantage of the strong Euro and weak dollar. We knew that we had to bring the Brits to Las Vegas—an experience not to be missed. Who needs to travel when you can drive the Strip and see a giant gold lion (MGM), an Egyptian pyramid and a sphinx (Luxor), the Statue of Liberty/Brooklyn Bridge/Ellis Island (NY/NY), the Eifel Tower, Champs de Elyse (Paris LasVegas), the Forum, the Colliseum (Caesar's Palace), St Mark's Square, the canals (The Venetian) .... Each one trying to out-do the other....with fountains at the Bellagio that do a "water ballet" every hour, a pirate battle at Treasure Island, an erupting volcano at the Mirage - and a roller coaster flying through the lobby at NY/NY. The gaming rooms are beyond belief--they stretch for what seems like miles-with the sound and flashing lights of the slot machines going 24 hours a day. It's a shrine to greed and extravagance and the best people watching you'll ever find! I heard it called one of the "Seven Wonders of the Artificial World". And, it beats the Grand Canyon by a mile! We stopped at the Little White Chapel (where you can opt for a wedding in the chapel- or at the drive-thru window. They've married Michael Jordan, Joan Collins- and Brittany Spears (her first, but abbreviated marriage). You can even renew your vows... Jean managed to get a photo with “Elvis” before his next wedding ceremony.
We tried the slots – and Jean had the golden touch! While my “Super Jack-pot Party” wasn’t paying off as well for me (although, I did manage to win a bit), everything Jean touched turned into “JACKPOT”. We took in the “Fremont Street Experience” and when the show started, she was still collecting her winnings—a cup overflowing with nickels. Even a stop to play her last quarter as we walked to the parking lot ended with more winnings.

We couldn’t do Vegas without embracing the “tackiness” – so we did manage to down a few deep fried Twinkies and Oreos at The Mermaid casino and make our own DVD – our four heads atop dancing cartoon bodies singing “R–E-S-P-E-C-T”. And, of course, we had to find at least one classic dive bar…..The Double Down Saloon – “The Happiest Place on Earth”!

Famous for their signature drink – “Ass juice” (Outta our ass, into your glass”) and Schlitz beer.







A marvelous dive in the midst of gay LV, we walked into a dark, smoky bar and met “Boozy”, the bartender.

The guys had an Ass Juice (Boozy told us the recipe just had to be “strong, taste good, and look like shit”. The rumor is that it’s made by wringing out the bar rags. Didn’t try the Bacon Martini….










We also took a side trip to the “Gun Store” – where you could buy just about any gun imaginable (if you were a Nevada resident) and you could shoot any of them in their shooting gallery. Just pick your target—hooded black guy, Osama bin Laden… Jean was appalled.

While Jean took advantage of the sunshine and got a few rays outside, John and Gordon headed down to the Hoover Dam for the tour. On a visit to the “Biggest Gift Store in the World”, we secretly bought a remote controlled “Fart Machine”. For days we tormented Jean and Gordon with random farts during the night. They kept telling us that our A/C was acting up…..we finally let them in on the joke and they bought their own Fart Machine to take home and ‘impress’ their friends. On our last day, we went to the top of the Stratosphere and had lunch (well almost had lunch) at the revolving restaurant, the Top of the World. It was a great view of Las Vegas- but our meal took over an hour and a half to arrive and our $20 Kobe beef burgers were cold! Needless to say, we didn’t stay, but did take in the rides at the top of the Tower. At the 109th floor, you can take a plunge over the side of the building or spin over the edge on the “Insanity” and the “X-Scream”…or go to the 112th floor and take the “Big Shot Thrill Ride”.

Before we knew it, the Brits were gone and it was all quiet in the motorhome again. Chloe especially missed her morning buddies – she loved to pounce on them in the morning.

Utah's "Dixie"

The weather finally turned – just about the time we were due to head south. We made a stop in St. George, Utah and spent the day exploring southern Utah. We did a loop, starting in Colorado City, home of the fundamentalist Mormon, Warren Jeffs. While Jean, John and I got an ice cream cone from the local store, Gordon found a 6 pack of Diet Coke. Since the fundamentalists don’t drink Coke, it was a bit suspect. After his first sip, he knew something was amiss---the expiration date was January 2007.

We drove through Zion National Park – and were blown away by the scenery. John and I had both visited it as children, but didn’t remember just how spectacular it is. We stopped for lunch in Virgin, Utah. Their claim to fame is their local law requiring all citizens to own a gun and ammunition for their self-defense! (The mentally ill, convicted felons, conscientious objectors and people who cannot afford to own a gun are exempt). Turns out that they had a quite looney-tunes mayor who not only loved guns, but also hated the U.N. Fortunately, the law had a few loop-holes, so the gun carrying populace can carry any kind of gun- including toy guns.

On our way to picking up a take-out chicken dinner in St. George, Jean and I stopped by the local department store and discovered “Frownies”! They claim to be the miracle cure for those pesky frown lines – eliminating the need for Botox or plastic surgery. Just put these magic flesh colored patches sprayed with a bit of magic water on your wrinkles- and watch them disappear in 30 days! Well, after a bit too much wine, we decided it was time to try them out. Thought we’d never stop laughing at the sight!

The British are coming!!!

We had 4 days to make it from New Orleans to Salt Lake City – 2000 miles. Thank god for the IPOD – we loaded it with podcasts and used the rest of the time to read Alice’s first draft of her novel. Enough said – we made it into SLC about 7 P.M. on Tuesday – with Jean and Gordon arriving the next day.

Gordon was flying in from Charlotte, N.C. – taking a much deserved break from his crazy corporate life –traveling from the U.K. to the U.S. to China, to Copenhagen, to Munich. He arrived on time – with news that poor Jean had missed one of her connecting flights (Manchester to Amsterdam to Minneapolis to Salt Lake) (Some idiot didn’t make the flight- so all the luggage had to be unloaded to get the bag off the plane). So, we took Gordon back to the motorhome and waited… her 7:10 P.M. scheduled arrival time turned into a midnight arrival. But, ever the trooper, she managed to rally for a few hours before crashing.

With the rain and cold of England, Jean likes to escape to the States for a bit of sunshine and warmth. But, she typically brings the English weather with her- at least for a while. On our trip to New Orleans, we encountered a hurricane – this time, SLC was giving us cold, damp, rainy weather. Quite a change from the typical sunshine and cool mountain breezes. Fortunately, we had a full agenda of Mormon sites to visit—and did a bit of re-arranging to make sure we did the inside ones first.

We gave them the full LDS experience – from the “Story of Joseph Smith” at the old Hotel Utah (now the Joseph Smith Memorial Building) to a tour of Temple Square, the Beehive House (Brigham Young’s House). We even managed to hear the Sunday concert of the “Mo-Tab” (the Mormon Tabernacle Choir). We took a bit of a break from all the excitement to spend an afternoon in Park City.

To satisfy the big machinery fetish for the boys, we took a drive to the Kennicott Copper Mine, the largest open pit copper mine in the world. While Jean and I scoped out the gift store and got a few copper trinkets, the guys were taking the full tour.

Quick facts from the Kennecott Mine web site: http://www.kennecott.com/
About the Mine
* Kennecott's Bingham Canyon Mine has produced more copper than any mine in history - about 17 million tons.
* The mine is 2-1/2 miles across at the top and 3/4 of a mile deep. You could stack two Sears Towers on top of each other and still not reach the top of the mine.
* The mine is so big, it can be seen by the space shuttle astronauts as they pass over the United States.
* By 2015, the mine will be at least 500 feet deeper than it is now.
* If you stretched out all the roads in the open pit mine, you'd have 500 miles of roadway - enough to reach from Salt Lake City to Denver.
About the Equipment
* The giant electric shovels in the mine can scoop up as much as 98 tons in a single bite -- about the weight of 50 cars.
* The newest shovels each cost $8 million and weigh 2.5 million pounds.
* The trucks that haul the ore are larger than many houses and weigh more than a jumbo jet. They stand over 23 feet tall and can carry from 255 to 360 tons of rock.
* The truck driver rides about 18 feet above the ground -- nearly two stories high.
* Each tire on these big trucks costs from $18,000 to $26,000 and lasts just 9 months.
* The crusher in the pit takes in about 140,000 tons of ore every day and grinds it into chunks smaller than the size of a basketball.
* At 1,215 feet tall, the Kennecott smokestack is the highest structure in Utah.

Bob and Camille's Adventures in NOLA Continued...

The next morning, we met Brem and Dippa at Petunia’s for brunch. With a wait for a table, they offered drinks while we stood outside—alcoholic drinks only- no coffee, tea or soda! We had a rather disastrous brunch – the waitress messed up the order- and then was indignant about it. We did get to, once again, live vicariously through Bob and Camille’s adventures. After leaving us the night before, they went back to the Pirate’s Alley Café and met up with some real “pirates”…. Aarrrrghhh! They had another late night/early morning.

We said our goodbyes to Brem and Dippa and it was off to the “Katrina Tour”. The tour went through New Orleans- seeing the Convention Center, the Superdome, the Lakeview area, Gentilly (where most of the deaths occurred), New Orleans East, St Bernard’s Parish and the Lower 9th Ward. In the Lower 9th Ward, we saw the hordes of volunteers working on Musicians Village

After the tour, it was back to Tujagues for their famous beef brisket and gumbo – for a little appetizer. Then, we found a great local bar called Coops for dinner.

The next morning, things were a bit slow in Mudville. The New Orleans nightlife was finally catching up to Bob and Camille. But, with only one more day left, we dragged them off to continue exploring the city. We took the ferry to Algiers and saw Mardi Gras World. Then, we drove to the Garden District and had our favorite – a Domilice’s shrimp po-boy. We took in the IMAX “Hurricane in the Bayou” then, along with Chloe, went out for dinner at the Bulldog. Chloe’s first restaurant experience- and she did great!

A 6:25 A.M. flight on Sunday and Bob and Camille were back to the real world and we were back to a much more quiet lifestyle.

Bob and Camille's Adventures in NOLA

Back in NOLA! This time, instead of staying in Kenner by the airport, we took a chance on the French Quarter RV Resort. What a beautiful place- paved streets and pads, a gorgeous clubhouse and the best location in the city. Well, it does border a fairly “rough” part of the city (and in NOLA, that’s saying something. Although, the news in the city was of a decrease in the murder rate –formerly the highest in the country. But, the murders were replaced by armed robbery- primarily tourists in the French Quarter.) The high concrete walls and barbed wire at the top were signs that outside the confines of the resort, things were a bit dicey. But, with 24 hour security, we felt comfortable and settled in for our stay.

We still were running without a spare tire, so we spent some time getting that situation remedied and reacquainting ourselves with NOLA before Bob and Camille (John’s son and daughter-in-law) arrived. On Wednesday, they landed about 4:00 – but with one bag missing. Camille was not happy to be without her bag- full of her new clothes and make-up. But, she was a real trooper (and even managed to get a new outfit out of it). The weather was threatening and we were hoping that we weren’t in for a Louisiana storm. After introductions to Chloe, a check-in to their B&B in the French Quarter, we headed out for dinner at Deanie’s Seafood Restaurant. We had crawfish and seafood and wine and got caught up. After dinner, the wind was kicking up and we were at the far end of the Quarter. The old folks were ready for bed, but the “kids” were just starting their evening. We reluctantly watched Bob and Camille walk towards Bourbon Street, the streets already filled with partiers and the music rocking out of the bars.

The next morning, we arrived at the B&B to start our full day of exploring NOLA. Bob and Camille piled into the car with stories of their adventures. I’m not sure what time they made it to bed that night/morning, but they had certainly started their NOLA trip with a bang. After strolling the entire length of Bourbon Street and having a few drinks, they got back to the B&B and ended up in the hot tub. The night manager joined them, striping down to his tighty whities, and brought champagne and brandy. They proceeded to drink and party all night. When a guest would come for check-in, their new friend would throw on his clothes, and, dripping wet, check them in and head back to the tub.

Needless to say, the morning was a bit slow for these two. But, they were up for a ride on the St Charles Streetcar and a walk around the Garden District. We had lunch at the Napoleon House where they have the most wonderful muffalettas. While some claim that the Central Grocery has the best in town, we love the toasted version at the Napoleon House – as well as the atmosphere. After lunch and some more walking through the French Quarter, it was time for our “Cocktail Tour”. My third and John’s second “Cocktail Tour”, it’s still a great way to learn a bit more about the history of the Quarter and find some great bars. Brem and Dippa met us for the evening.

One of our first stops was back to the Napoleon House. The building's first occupant, Nicholas Girod, offered his residence to Napoleon in 1821 as a refuge during his exile. Napoleon never made it, but the name stuck, and since then, the Napoleon House has become one of the most famous bars in America. Their signature drink is the “Pimms Cup” (my personal favorite). At the Napoleon House, they serve it with a cucumber – just the best summer refresher.
Pimm’s Cup
Fill a tall 12 oz glass with ice
Add 1 1/4 oz. Pimm's #1 and 3 oz lemonade.
Then top off with 7up.Garnish with cucumber

At Pirate’s Alley Café, Bob and Camille tried a “Green Fairy”, a concoction made with absinthe (130 proof). While they tried the “Green Fairy”, when it’s mixed with gin, it’s “The Obituary Cocktail”, mixed with champagne, it’s “Death in the Afternoon” and mixed with vodka, it’s a “Russian Funeral”. (The Green Fairy is made by pouring absinthe over a sugar cube balanced on a slotted spoon over a tall glass. It’s followed by water poured over the sugar cube. The cube is then burned and crushed into the drink. A chemical reaction ensues- causing what appears to be fairies flying through the green liquid. (Note: Absinthe is a strong-herbal liquor distilled with wormwood and anise. It can contain other aromatic herbs like star anise, anise seed, fennel, licorice, hyssop, veronica, lemon balm, angelica root, dittany, coriander, juniper, and nutmeg).

At Tujagues, the second oldest restaurant in New Orleans (1856), we tried a “Woodland Plantation Punch” (way too sweet) Originally an all men’s bar, there were no chairs. The men stood at the bar (and, not wanting to lose their place at the bar, would pee into the trough under the bar). Today, the bar is a great local hangout.

With stops at Muriel’s, Courtyard of Two Sisters and Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop, we ended the night at Café Maspero’s to sample their gumbo then had a nightcap before sending the “kids” off for the rest of their evening.

John's Shed....

It wouldn’t be a visit to Louisiana without a stay in Napoleonville with John and Brenda. It really does feel like home to be there at John’s Shed (now, technically, we should be calling it “Jeff’s Shed” since John sold the land to his son, Jeff. But, some things just can’t be changed). Jeff has done a beautiful job of adding some HUGE trees to the property. We saw photos of the process of digging the rootballs of these trees out and transporting them to Jeff’s land and planting them. Amazingly, all of the trees are doing great.

We kept busy with John (Dippa) and Brenda (Brem), as always. Dippa did his fish fry one night – WONDERFUL! But, the highlight was the day we spend crabbing! We got an early A.M. pickup and were told to wear comfortable clothes and shoes, bring sunscreen and be ready to work. Not knowing what to expect, we piled into John’s truck and drove south toward Houma. We drove past a line of folks (mostly men) with lines in the water, some decked out with lawn chairs and umbrellas. We passed them by and Dippa found the perfect spot for crabbing. We parked by the side of the road and pulled out these wooden paddles with a long line of string with a hook on the end. The hooks were baited with turkey necks- fresh from the grocery store. Dippa threw out the string and anchored the wooden paddles on the rocks. He put out about 10 lines and then we waited. After a bit, Dippa would wade out in the water and look out to see if he had any bites. Once the crab grabbed onto the turkey neck, he would gently pull the line in. Then, the bucket crew (John and Brenda) would go into action, shaking the crab off the turkey neck and into the bucket. Then, it was John’s job to take the crab from the bucket, shake off the seaweed and put it into the cooler. Now this job had to be done with seriously thick gloves because those little devils had claws that would lock on for dear life. Things started slowly, but then heated up and Dippa was pulling crabs in by the bucket load. With no time for the bucket crew to run the bucket down to his catch, he’s drop the crab onto the beach, hold it down with his foot and yell for John to come get it! Those little guys can run! Imagine John in his “pecker head hat” racing after blue crabs on the beach. It was quite a sight! Within 5 hours, we had over 60 beautiful blue crabs in the cooler.

Time for a crab boil! When we got to Dippa and Brem’s, the stage was set for the big boil. Behind the pool house, Dippa had his Cajun sized pot already set up. The blue crabs were ready for their last swim. We took a few photos before they hit the pool and watched them turn a brilliant red. Once they were cooked, Dippa triumphantly brought platters of them into the pool house and at the table (covered with newspaper), we feasted on the most wonderful fresh crab ever! Two days later, we got another treat- crab stew. Brenda took the remaining crabs and turned them into a thick, rich stew.

Not to be out-done, with Dippa and Brem away for the weekend, their son, Jeff, came over to John’s Shed on Sunday complete with jambalaya fixin’s. We grabbed a glass of wine and a notebook and pencil and while Jeff cooked, I took copious notes, hoping someday to be able to cook a great pot of jambalaya. With andouille and spicy pork sausage, chicken, green peppers, garlic and onions, Zatarain’s seasoning, Louisiana rice and, of course, Louisiana hot sauce, it was a meal made for the gods. With Jeff’s cast-iron skillet cornbread and a salad, we were in heaven.

Does it sound like food is a focus in Cajun Country? Well, there’s no place on earth with more amazing food. After crab boils, jambalaya, crab stew and fish fry’s, we had to take advantage of crawfish season. So we bought fresh crawfish from the local crawfish stand and once again, Dippa worked his magic boil.

Then there was the feast at Huey and Katie’s house. Brenda and I barely made it back from Baton Rouge in time for dinner. There was a blow-up on I-10 – a rolling meth-lab blew up and shut down the freeway. Fortunately, we had the queen of back roads behind the wheel and we made our way through the back roads to Belle Rose, just in time for a mega-feast. Huey and Katie must have been cooking all day and we ate and drank profusely. I have to admit that one of the highlights was a sampling of syrup made from their sugar cane! Drizzled on a home-made biscuit, this thick, molasses-sweet syrup was meant to be savored. They even gave us a jar of our own to take home.

We were ready to head off—but now before Dippa took John out to Lake Verret for some Cajun fishin’. The boys came by in Huey’s red truck at 7 AM. When they returned a few hours later, John was wet and smelly and needed a good hosing down. It turns out that “fishin’” consisted of a series of pipes set 2 – 5 feet in the lake with one end open, the other end capped off. Holes are drilled into the pipes to allow water to flow though. The catfish find the pipes a great protective space and go in them to spawn. The “fishing” part is simply a matter of pulling up the pipes, letting all the water flow out and “pouring” the fish into the boat. Quite ingenious and very productive. This was one of the first catches of the season and the fish were absolutely humungous. I stayed to get a photo of the bucket of fish, but decided to leave when the executions started. Somehow seeing a fish hung by a nail on a fence post and gutted wasn’t something to savor at 9 A.M. in the morning!