Election Night

It was a horrible night-- I was up and down all night, couldn't sleep, I was so wired about this election. Poor John, I kept getting up and sneaking into the kitchen to turn on the TV and check the results. I was channel surfing all the major networks to see the map of "red and blue" states. When they announced Florida as an official win for Bush, I went to bed in disgust. Then, to wake up and find the election still in contention. I held on to that thread of hope that Ohio would not fall into the Bush camp, but I guess, in this case, God was not on my side. To see your fellow countrymen looking at the same issues that you are- and making their voting decisions based on "moral issues" like gay marriage rather than on a mis-managed, wrong war in Iraq, an economy in turmoil and a whopping deficit.... I can't tell you how disheartening it is! John still talks about moving to Canada- but I've told him it's far too cold and too boring. John keeps telling me that I have to stop obsessing about all this and just realize that we're watching the death of our country. Oh well, 4 more years of that Bush smirk and his horrifying cadre of advisors. It's a sad day for the US...and for the world, I fear.

For our part, we're settling back into Florida...although our "re-entry" was less than smooth. Between my sleepless sand-flea nights and the general state of things in the house and yard, it's been less than fun. We got back on Friday and had to leave the motorhome at the local repair shop for the night (another slider was giving us problems). So, we took the essentials out (makeup, food, etc) and went to the house. The hurricane damage was pretty mild (considering that this place took the brunt of 3 storms). We lost one of our bottle-brush shrubs and another one is hanging on by a few stakes. One of the screens in the Florida room is torn. But, given what we saw in other parts of Florida, we were very lucky. Having said all that, all of the plants need pruning and fertilizing, the house needed cleaning and it was a bit depressing to be "grounded". So, we spent the weekend cleaning the house, making a "Wal-mart" run to stock up again and then, once we got the motorhome back, transferring all of our stuff and cleaning it. It's been most unpleasant - and we've decided that next time, we're going to contract to have the yard and house taken care of before we arrive home.

The park is filling back up with snow-birds, so we've met with a few of our neighbors and immediately got hit with all the local TGO politics (which didn't help John's mood very much). It turns out that while we were gone, the Board of Directors got together and banned all motorscooters over 50CCs. We can be grandfathered in on our scooter (if we fill out a package of forms- including getting the forms notarized and providing proof of purchase date, mileage, etc). But, we can't sell the scooter to anyone in the park. On top of all that, they've banned motorcycles completely. We used to be able to drive the Triumph from the storage unit on site to get out of the park. Now, they've banned all motorcycles from passing the guard post. This means that you have to trailer the motorcycle to the guard post. Needless to say,John was absolutely furious!! He's never been much of a fan of this place- but to have some biddlies telling him what he can and can't do at his age has got him angry beyond belief. On top of all that, our neighbor (across the street) has spent over $50,000 of his own money in a lawsuit against the park to get the motorcycle issue resolved. He's the one neighbor that John and I really like, and he's so frustrated that we think that he and his wife may move. So, we're talking about our options- and nothing is really obvious. I guess it's time to take out the big "T-Chart" and list all the +'s and -'s of our options. So, we're looking at 1) Doing nothing and holding our nose until we get tired of motorhoming (since this place really does work with the motorhoming lifestyle) (And then, probably moving back to the Northeast at some point-- at least we would be living in a "blue" state) or 2). Looking at a place in Louisiana - either property on a bayou or a place in New Orleans (which would give us a fun place to live in the months we're not on the road and lots of people to socialize with) or 3). Looking at property in Cocoa or Merritt Island (which is probably a bit too much money).

Sand, sea and sand fleas in Sanibel

Before heading back to Titusville, we stopped at Sanibel Island to visit some dear friends of John's, Rich and Lani . After selling their spectacular house in Half Moon Bay, California- they bought an equally gorgeous house on Sanibel Island (on the gulf coast of Florida). We had a great time.

The only bad news- they took us to lunch at this cute little restaurant called the Mucky Duck. Since our table wasn't ready, they told us we could wait on the tables by the beach. What they didn't tell us was that the beach was infested with sand fleas. I woke up that night scratching my legs to bits....and that morning, woke to huge red welts all over my legs. The sand fleas had a great lunch as well.... For nights, I couldn't sleep at all- the itching was so bad.

Cajuns, Angola Prison and Sugar Cane

We had a week to make it back to Louisiana for a Cajun family get-together (we're the token Yankees). We had hoped to take a leisurely drive south, stopping in Memphis to pay homage to Elvis and drive down Highway 61 and see the blues joints....but wouldn't you know it, on Monday, the slider started acting up (making huge bangs when it extended/retracted and the motor wouldn't stop running). So, we decided that we had to make a return trip to the factory (John now calls this thing the "motor-homing pigeon"). So from NYC to Indiana- we drove non-stop for 2 days....got to the factory, they squeezed us in on Wednesday and on Thursday morning, we were back on the road- driving 1000 miles to get to Louisiana. What a ball-breaker!

We arrived exhausted, but ready for a party with the Cajuns. It still amazes us how well the Cajuns live. The generations all party together and they have such a wonderful sense of family and fun. This was a chance to meet all of Brenda's brothers and sisters, their kids, and a whole mess of other friends and family.

Once we recovered from the "Paarty", we were heading to the Angola Prison rodeo -truly something not to be missed. Angola Prison was the subject of the movie, "Dead Man Walking" and was known in the past as the prototype southern prison farm. The inmate profile is unique-- 76% black, 68% lifers (51% in for homicide), average age 38. It's Louisiana's only maximum security prison- and the largest in the US. All the physically able inmates are required to work- for 2 to 20 cents per hour- most in the prison's farming operation. They have a beef herd of 1,500 cattle and a license tag plant, silk screen shop, metal fabrication shop and a mattress and broom/mop factory. In the American tradition of living a Godly life, they have what they all "Faith Based Rehabilitation" complete with "Bible College". In addition to the prison facilities, they have a Museum and golf course.

Every year in October, the inmates have a rodeo. Before the rodeo, you get a chance to walk through the booths- manned by prisoners and their families- with food (great jambalaya and other heart clogging southern dishes) and crafts. The most difficult part of the exhibit was the craft area- where the inmates, behind barbed wire, sold their crafts to the public. The crafts were simple- mostly woodwork- plaques with Spiderman, Mickey Mouse figures on them, etc. They would talk through the barbed wire to prospective buyers and negotiate their prices. Then, family members would take the money and package the item. I only made it through one row and had to leave. It was all so sad.
(Photo from newsday.com)

But, the rodeo--what a sight! The prisoners actually built the 10,000 seat arena. They start with the Angola Rough Riders- the only prisoner precision riding team in the U.S. During the week, these "cowboys" work on the farm handling the horses and livestock. The events included the typical bull ride ("The Bust Out"), "Bareback Riding" on a bucking bronco, "Bull Dogging"- where the inmates try to wrestle a 500 pound calf to the ground.. But, unlike a typical rodeo, this one had events like the Wild Cow Milking (where inmates try to hang onto a rope tied to an angry cow long enough for one of them to milk the cow. John's favorite was "Convict Poker" - four inmates sit at a table in the middle of the arena playing poker. A bull is released and, provoked by the clowns, attacks the table, The last man seated wins. The bulls went wild, throwing tables and inmates in the air. The grand finale was the "Guts and Glory"-- where they tie a poker chip between the horns of a huge, angry Brahma bull. The arena is filled with inmates (all in striped shirts). The object is to get close enough to snatch the chip from between its' horns. You have to be truly insane to even consider getting that close to an angry bull- but the chip is worth $500 to the inmate lucky enough to get it off without getting gored. For some amazing photos of this event, check out Rene Perez Photographs

The next day, another of our Cajun friends, Huey (the charming Cajun cowboy, who is the best dancer I have ever seen!) took us for a tour of his sugar plantation and then to the sugar mill where the raw sugar is processed. I got to ride in the combine as they were cutting the sugar cane (up close and personal with Huey's adorable young son).
Then it was off to the sugar mill. It was an amazing collection of huge machinery and since we were with Huey, one of the sugar farmers, we had full access to the entire factory...from cane delivery to the final product (and got to taste the raw sugar ready to be shipped for further processing). It was absolutely fascinating.

The rally was great fun. We danced our brains out (even though we had forgotten quite a few steps over the summer). We've got the Cajun waltz down - and can hold our own with the best of the Cajun dancers. The rest of the dances are still a bit rough....and John was quite a hit when he was dancing with Brenda to the tune of "Play that Funky Music White Boy". Since it was sweet potato harvesting time (sweet potato = American yam), they had a sweet potato baking contest and I was recruited as a judge. Little did I know that these women (and men) took the contest VERY seriously and I'm not sure I made any friends with the decision (fortunately, they had an outside home economist to lead the judging). It was amazing to see what they could do with sweet potatoes. My experience eating sweet potatoes has been the traditional sweet potato casserole we have in the north at Thanksgiving (mashed sweet potatoes baked and then covered with melted marshmallows). This contest had sweet potato tarts, sweet potato stuffing/dressing, sweet potato crunch and even a sweet potato cheese ball.

A wrong turn on the BQE

We had a great time in NYC--we got to see Steph and Brett both in the city and at our campground in Long Island. They're doing really well- and we had some great dinners in the city (although the sticker shock at $13.00 martinis and $9.00 glasses of wine is still with us! Can't wait to see our VISA bill next month) We enjoyed being in Long Island (home to "the Hamptons" and the all of the NYC summer get-away beaches. Although, we were on the more full-time residential end of the island- in a community mostly made up of Jews and Hispanics! John found the local bagel shop when searching for the NY Times in the morning- and I can tell you for a fact- you haven't tasted bagels until you try a Long Island toasted bagel with cream cheese. They do know how to make bagels. Needless to say, the diet wasn't on for a few weeks.

We had an interesting experience leaving NY. In order to get from our campground in Long Island to New Jersey, we had to cross Long Island, Brooklyn and Queens. The network of roads in the NYC area is a combination of parkways (NO trucks or RV's- with bridge clearances under 11 feet) and expressways. You have to be very aware of this when driving a 12 foot high RV. So, we were very careful about our return route. We headed across the Long Island Expressway- and the road was horribly old and twisty. We came to a split in the road with no obvious signage-so we took the route that looked to be a continuation of the Expressway....WRONG--we found ourselves headed to a bridge leading directly into lower Manhattan- with our 45 foot motorhome and VW in tow. At this point, I think John was ready to throw me out the window. We had no detailed maps of Manhattan - and no idea of what to do once we got there. We opted to make a U-turn and John was forced to go down these narrow NYC streets with the VW going over the curbs. We finally got back across the bridge and thought we were home free. Wrong again! We followed the signs for Highway 287 and found ourselves plopped in the middle of Brooklyn in a 5 way intersection with NO signs. The streets were teeming with Hassidic Jews (the ones with the long black coats, strange black hats and springy curls). Not having a clue what to do, we stopped in the middle of the street and John hailed one of the local Hassidics to ask for directions. But first, we had to get our terminology straight. While we had a highway number (287), the locals don't use numbers. So, we got this puzzled look - then a question, "Are you looking for the BQE?".... Now it was our turn to be puzzled...until we figured out that the BQE= the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. We got a long set of directions (right at the light, go down 4 blocks, turn left....) With no confidence in our ability to ever get out of Brooklyn, we headed out and somehow found our way back to the Expressway. After about 3 hours of silence, we finally realized how hilarious the situation was - and wished that we had the foresight to have gotten out to take a photo of John in the middle of Brooklyn asking a Hassidic Jew for directions. I guess it was what John's mother used to call "making memories".

Doctors, Dentists and Chop Suey Sandwiches

Between doctors and dentists, we barely had a chance to enjoy our gorgeous view of the Salem Harbour out of our windows. By Wednesday, we had the dentist, the gynecologist, the mammography and the bone density tests done. (Note how many of those John didn't have to deal with! Men don't know how good they’ve got it!)

In addition to the doctors, we managed to get the carpets cleaned and got the windshield "doctor" over to fix a ding in our brand new windshield. Given that we still have a general doctor's appointment and an eye exam scheduled for next week, we're going to start associating Boston with things less than pleasant.

We did manage to have lunch at our favorite Indian restaurant- Rangoli as well as try some local dives (recommended by our new friend, the carpet guy). We had drinks with him and the Salem locals at Dube’s. We should know better than to ask a Townie for restaurant recommendations. The fried fish at Dube’s was substantial in portions, but lacked a lot in the flavor category. We did have some interesting conversations with the locals, however. They also recommended the “chop suey sandwich” at the park down the street from us. Imagine chop suey on a white bread bun. A true Townie delight. We topped off our sandwich with a scoop of homemade ice cream at Hopp’s.

Boston hasn’t changed much. The Big Dig and it’s trillions of dollars didn’t seem to solve any of the traffic problems in the city. They appear to have given the patient a heart transplant-when in fact, it needed a complete organ transplant to get it well.

The Kruse Auction

We headed to Gerry and Sandy’s house- and "Camp Runamuck". Gerry has full hook-ups in his driveway and it was wonderful to have our own private campsite. Gerry and Sandy had set up camp at the Kruse Auction in Auburn for the week. So, we got set up and drove over to meet up with them, take a tour of the auction grounds and get some greasy food stall gyros.

The Kruse Auction was quite an event. 100’s of motorhomes and 1000’s of people and cars everywhere. We watched a bit of the auction(s). In one large building, they had two auctions going simultaneously, moving cars through in 10-15 minutes. Outside, there were hundreds of vendors- selling car parts and accessories, a giant flea market (selling mostly junk) and food vendors (ala the Minnesota State Fair, without the stick).

Gerry was parked next to some TGO residents (in Prevosts) and we shared information about the status of Hurricane Frances. Good news- our house made it through Frances without damage (only a piece of siding blew off-and one of our neighbors put it back up). We may have lost one of our bottlebrush shrubs and had to throw everything out of the refrigerator (after being without power for days, we had Bunny- our house-sitter, clear it out). We were feeling very lucky -and hope that our luck will hold out for Ivan.

Putting Humpty Dumpty back together in Indiana

Sunday afternoon, we arrived in Nappanee to find the full hook-up parking spaces all taken. So, we went to “lot 2” – John calls it the ‘asshole box’. No sewer hook-up, but it’s concrete! We got ready for our factory experience- getting a good nights’ rest before our 6:00 am start.

To keep busy during the week (and to stay sane), we took motorhome factory tours. Charlie and Gloria were at the American factory picking up their coach, so we met them for a tour of the Royale factory. We tried to egg Charlie into upgrading to “metal”. We followed the Royale tour with a tour of the American factory the following day and Travel Supreme tour on Friday.

At night, we settled into our parking lot site and watched the new: visionless Republicans, a hurricane coming to spend the weekend, and nothing to do in Indiana except eat comfort food while mechanics put humpty-dumpty together again. International news is on offer from the New York Times, the BBC, and NWI (Canada's News World International), but the stories being presented are distressing beyond belief. It's truly depressing to watch the coverage of the convention, followed by what is going on in the rest of the world.

We've decided that we're no longer part of this country--it's truly strange to feel so alienated from your fellow citizens. We were at breakfast the other morning listening to the old white guys at the next table talking about the convention and how great Bush is, how the lousy liberals are finally "getting theirs"...... We have never seen this country so divided and so angry. Even reading the NY Times is depressing.

The service team did a yeoman’s job and actually got through our punch list in one week. We went to our favorite dive bar in Nappanee and conveniently forgot to eat dinner while drinking massive amounts of cheap, white wine. Hangover city!

Seeing Milwaukee

Milwaukee was a beautiful city—a bit like a miniature Chicago. It was an interesting combination of ethnic neighborhoods and lively city. We drove the historic districts and had a brat- teaming with sauerkraut and hot mustard- at the sausage cart downtown.

On Tuesday, we had our first rainy day in ages.....it wouldn't be so bad, but rain affects the satellite- so we couldn’t even watch the BBC News. Oh well, the news has been so awful these days, maybe we're better off…. So, with rain forecast for the rest of the day, we headed for the Harley Davidson factory tour. We topped off the factory tour with a huge German lunch- sauerbraten and weiner schnitzel. The lunch portions carried us clear through dinner. We grabbed a bowl of soup at the bar across from our campgrounds- Liquid Johnny’s. (Where the motto is: Let’s get drunk, naked and wreck stuff”)

The next day, we did a trial run to Illinois State Beach Park where we were planning to spend the next few days. Not knowing what to expect from a State Park, we thought it best to take the car rather than driving blindly in with the motorhome. It was a good choice- we not only got to scope out the spaces, but got a reservation in the “parking lot” section. Who wants trees and grass when you can have concrete and clear satellite reception! We stopped by Tom Christenson’s motorcycle shop on the way home. We got a chance to see his latest creation and John got to talk about Nortons.

We stopped for dinner on the way home at the “African Hut” restaurant and had a sampling of East African dishes and a wickedly good dessert called the Mindimindi.

The Potato Gun

John’s old stomping grounds- the University of Wisconsin. We got to see his old house, the campus of UW and walked down State Street, filled with sidewalk restaurants. We had a wonderful Indian dinner and did some people watching. It was the first back to school weekend, so the streets were filled with college kids and their parents.

On Sunday, we spent the afternoon with Horton and Kathy. We got the tour of the house that they built- literally. And, of course, Horton and John had to get out the potato gun. We had lunch at a local restaurant, right on the lake- beer, wine and burgers and some good political conversations (a very rare event these days- finding someone that you can talk openly with)

Chilling in Minneapolis

After all the driving, Minneapolis gave us a chance to relax a bit and get caught up on things like laundry, email, haircuts, dog grooming, etc. I got the chance to catch up with my high school friends, Kathy and Jane, and hear the latest on high school friends.

We drove up to Mom’s house on Tuesday and spent the day at the lake, taking time for a pontoon ride around the lake and an early dinner before heading back to the Cities.

We had a great evening with Jack and Walker and a wonderful meal at Kabul, an Afghani restaurant on Grand Avenue. The following day, Mom and E.D. came down to visit us and see the new motorhome.

Sturgis Bike Week

We finally reached South Dakota - and the Sturgis Bike Rally. This rally is bigger than Bike Week in Daytona Beach--about 500,000 Harley riders in a tiny South Dakota town. The roads were jammed with bikers-an amazing number of them women. The percentage of women riding huge bikes has risen dramatically in the last few years.

We took the "Wildlife Loop" through the Black Hills on Monday (along with 1000's of bikers). We counted 1 buffalo, a zillion prairie dogs and two miniature dobermans (OK- they were just being walked by their owner- but after an hour of driving, we were going to count anything on all 4's). We saw tons of "buffalo chips" on the road and John was beginning to think that the park workers drove around and dropped it on the road so that people would think that there were herd of buffalos around.

We had lunch in Custer, SD at a local restaurant- known for their rhubarb pie. We waddled out of that lunch back to the car and took the Needles Highway back to the campground.

For the next few days, we spent time in the town of Sturgis along with all of our new biker friends. We spent one day at Thunder Road, just outside of town. It was the home of the super-custom bikes and they were quite a site. On Wednesday, we headed into town early in the morning. We stopped by Orange County Choppers and caught a glimpse of Paul Sr. The line waiting for autographs was already forming an hour before their scheduled appearance. In town, we grabbed breakfast at the Road Kill Café and wandered the streets checking out the vendors.

On Thursday, we stopped at the Broken Spoke Saloon and saw the Biker Build Off Bikes. We followed that with a visit to the Full Throttle Saloon. The Full Throttle was a bit like the raunchy bars outside Daytona….waitresses in lingerie, burn-out pits, and the Wall of Death.

Middle of Nowhere, Idaho

In the middle of friggin' nowhere! John had us following the Oregon/Mormon Trail across Idaho and Wyoming. Last night we stayed outside of a little Idaho town called Soda Springs. We had to drive down a long farm, gravel road to get to this "RV Park/Golf Course". We were the only RV there- and there was absolutely nothing around us but farm fields with mountains in the background. I had visions of strange men driven crazy by the miles of nothing - turning into serial killers and attacking us in the middle of the night. John even had the mace by the bed! This is, after all, the home of the Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski.

Well, we made it through the night... We went to bed with temperatures of 100 degrees --so we naturally left all our windows open and the fan running. We got up to temperatures of 50 degrees! It was freezing. John tried to convince me that it was a good way to imagine what the pioneers crossing the country must have faced. Except, of course, that we just turned on the heat and were toasty in just minutes.

Following the Mormon Trail

It took two long days of driving---we’d averaged about 6 hours every day for the past two days- and we had one more day left to get to some kind of civilization (if you can call 500,000 bikers "civilization). On the road from Idaho through Wyoming, we tracked the Mormon Trail. We stopped at the site of the Martin Handcart Company and the LDS Visitor Center. Given the direct history of John’s Spencer relatives in the debaucle, it was particularly interesting to take the tour of the visitors center and hear the story of the handcart companies. And, it did help to break up a long day of driving. When we finally pulled into our campground, we were still in the middle of nowhere Wyoming.

Sunny in Seattle

After Portland, we couldn’t imagine finding yet another city in the Pacific NW that we loved. But, Seattle, was the Boston of the NW. The city itself was beautiful and the weather was spectacular- warm, but not too hot, clear and sunny. We did talk with the locals who assured us that winter weather was nothing short of awful- drizzly, cloudy days.

We took a City Tour that picked us up directly from the campground and we had a great tour of the city. The guide was a Jim Belushi wanna-be and really brought the city to life. We got to see all the highlights of the city- Pike Place Market, Pioneer Square, the Space Needle, the Queen Anne District, the Freemont District (and the famous Freemont under the bridge Troll). We also stopped at the Hiram M Chittenden Locks and saw another fish ladder.
After getting the city overview, we spent the next few days going back to visit the city- spending time in Pikes Place Market (John had a few beers and chatted with the locals while I bought fresh produce), the International District (where we found the most wonderful Korean food court restaurant), seeing The Eruption of St Helens at the Omnidome and having a spectacular fish lunch at the Chinook Restaurant near the Fisherman’s Terminal. We had heard that the best place to buy fresh salmon was under bridge heading south from the city. A local Indian (they have salmon fishing rights) supposedly catches them daily and sells them from the back of his trunk. We tried several times, but never caught the Chief.
As home of Boeing, we had to visit the Boeing factory and take the tour. What an eye-opener. Our premier aircraft manufacturer had a largest factory building in the world- and only one 747 being built. The Europeans have taken the lead in large scale aircraft manufacturing with the AirBus. We spent another day at the Museum of Flight- with over 50 historic aircraft on display. Retired Boeing employees give 1 or 2 hour tours of the museum.

SFO

We arrived on Sunday. We were camped at an RV park (parking lot is more like it) in the city- at Candlestick Park, San Francisco's football stadium. The location of this place was great- literally a few miles from the heart of the city. But, they've taken a huge parking lot and added yellow lines and hookups- and we were right on top of each other. The space between sites was so close that our slide-outs almost touched. And, it's the most expensive park we've ever stayed at-- $52/night!! Oh well, as they say, you pay for location.....

We called Bob and Camille to get together for dinner. They came over to meet us and we started our exploration of the “underbelly” of SFO. Bob’s favorite places probably wouldn’t be found in Fodor’s or Frommer’s guide books, but it was fascinating!
On Sunday, we headed over the bridge to Oakland and got a chance to meet Bruiser and see Bob and Camille’s new house. It was in a charming area, mostly black, but the housing stock was adorable and ripe for gentrification. We got the full city tour of Oakland, had lunch at The Lighthouse Restaurant, drinks at Jack London Square. The little bar, called Heinhold’s First and Last Chance Saloon was supposedly a favorite haunt of London’s. The building had survived earthquakes and the floor is decidedly slanted. Next to the bar is a replica of Jack London’s Yukon cabin (allegedly built from the timbers of a cabin London lived in during the Yukon gold rush).

On Monday, we headed over the hills to Rich and Lani’s house in Half Moon Bay. It is a truly lovely house with spectacular views of the ocean from nearly every window. They were in the final throws of selling the house. We had salmon that they had caught deep sea fishing on Sunday. We finished off a bottle of Grand Marinier – and had an interesting ride back home.

We had a “father’s lunch” on Wednesday with Bob’s boss. Jeff, and one of his co-workers and his father. We ate at the “Hard Knocks Café”—one of Bob’s favorite haunts- a soul food restaurant run by a Vietnamese guy and his girlfriend. The food was first rate and in huge portions- oxtails, catfish, collard greens, cornbread, red beans and rice. We liked it so much that we dragged Rich and Lani there for dinner (where we had a great dinner and interesting conversation with a local bus driver). After our “father’s lunch”, we drove down to the marina to see Jeff’s boat then met Camille for drinks at “The Ramp”.
On Bob’s recommendation, we grabbed lunch on Wednesday at one of the many tacquerias in SFO-- a truck converted into a meals on wheels and they were everywhere-- tacos were $1.00 apiece and if you buy 5, you get a free drink (soda). So far it was the only bargain we found in the city.

Not wanting to miss seeing a Mormon Visitor’s Center, we headed to Oakland on Thursday afternoon and visited the Temple complex. We got a private showing of one of the LDS movies. We headed over Bob and Camille’s after the movie and had lunch at a local Mexican place- chile rellenos and beer.

On our last full day in SFO, the four of us went to see Fahrenheit 9/11. It was a very moving documentary and hit Camille particularly hard since her brother is serving in Iraq. Dinner was at another local institution, The Clam House.

Salt Lake City Wanderings

Salt Lake City was an absolutely beautiful city--lots of lovely neighborhoods with older houses and tons of charm. AND- there is no traffic and no crime. It was a bit like back to the 50's - where all the women are well dressed, the children are well mannered, the men wear white shirts and ties and no one locks their doors. The Church, however, does control EVERYTHING. You can't order a drink without ordering food in downtown restaurants - and you can't have two drinks sitting in front of you at one time. The women are gorgeous and many have incredibly large breasts (either natural or man-made). The city has one of the highest rates of breast implants in the country. They have something called an "endowment" ceremony in the temple. John said that "First they go to the temple to get endowed- then they go to the clinic for their other "endowment"".

More strange SLC stories-- the houses are all HUGE. We got a chance to visit with Sean and Elle. They moved to SLC 4 years ago- and we went over to their house for dinner. The two of them (and their two dogs) have an 8 bedroom house with multiple living rooms, a huge kitchen, 2 offices, a three car garage and a huge yard. Now, they didn't buy it because they needed the space- but felt that they had to buy a house that size for resale purposes- 8 bedrooms are a minimum requirement for resale. These LARGE Mormon families..... Most of the women don't work. And, evidently they are the largest users of Prozac in the nation. With tons of children and a ban on caffeine- you have to do something. I'm not sure what the women do- but there are craft stores everywhere (I guess cross stitch and scrapbooking is one way to stay busy...and they can find new projects for the Monday evening "Family Night"- where the family gets together for scripture reading, craft making and family bonding)

Every year the Church holds "the Conference" where the President (who is also a Prophet, Seer and Revelator) comes out with his "revelations" for the year. Last year, he came out with the "befriend a Gentile" commandment (The term "Gentiles" covers everyone who is not Mormon--including Jews!) So, Sean and Elle are invited everywhere -- breakfasts, ball games, dinner parties. Personally, we think it's all part of a huge campaign to win over converts by letting them see what a wonderful lifestyle the Mormons have.

We were able to track down some of John's distant cousins on his mothers’ side. We found a web site for the Spencer family and used Yahoo to track down the "Spencer Family Organization" president. He was happy to hear from us and invited us to a 4th of July "Ward Breakfast" (Wards are like our churches- but they are all assigned geographically. You have no choice of what ward you belong to- it's all based on your address. And, they don't have clergy per se....the head of the Ward is a Bishop who is just a regular guy who receives the "Call"- no special training and no pay!). Well, it turned out that John's cousin, Mel, was Bishop of the Ward. So, we headed over to the breakfast. It was a bit like a Branson show- a little bit of religion, a little bit of patriotism and alot of family values. Mel, Joan and his family were really quite charming and they invited us back to their house and shared their knowledge about John's family. They then turned us over to the creator of the web site- another cousin, Ed . Ed and his wife, Cindy, invited us over to their house and we got more info and photos of John's great-great and great grandfather.

We spend most of our SLC time doing family research- visiting libraries (the Mormons have the largest genealogical library. We spent days in the LDS Family History Center, the Utah State Historical Society, the Utah State Archives and the LDS Church Archives. From the information we collected, we were also able to find a number of the Spencer houses and the gravesites of most of the Spencer clan. The cemeteries were strange. With multiple wives, you definitely got a sense of who was “top dog” among the wives based on their proximity to their man.
The Mormons provided us with days of entertainment and our visit was topped off by a visit from Brenda and John and their grandson, Dylan. They stopped in SLC on their way to visit their son in Idaho. So, we've had two busy days showing them the sites of SLC (our 2nd temple tour). They'd never had Indian food so we took them to "Taj India" for lunch. It met with mixed results. Evidently this place caters to a true Indian clientele- so the food was quite spicy for American tastes (perfect for us, but even John had a few beads of sweat and a nice pink glow to his cheeks while eating). I don't think that they'll be searching for their next Indian experience anytime soon. On their last night, we let them do the cooking and had steak, baked potato and smothered onions and drank wine into the evening.

The Mormon Miracle Pageant

Back on the road- we left Colorado and stopped in a tiny town called Manti, Utah. It's the home of the annual "Mormon Miracle Pageant" ...and we do love these strange Mormon pageants. With a cast of 500, it was held at 9:30 pm for 2 hours--and filled with Mormon families (they love their children- it seems that most of the couples have at least 4 children...) Since all the Mormons for miles around attend the pageant, we got a spot in the local campground- in the fields. The poor Essex was parked in mud with it’s wheels jacked up to make the coach level. We looked a sight- a 45’ motorhome in the middle of a field of tents and campers.

We had a bit of time to explore the area—lots of tiny Mormon towns with wide streets and nothing to do! Rain was threatening for the pageant, but managed to hold off for the entire performance.

Super Crunchy Portland

We had a wonderful time in Portland—it was an absolutely beautiful city. It was a bit like Boston, but less expensive....lots of interesting neighborhoods, markets, liberal people--no Bush/Cheney bumper stickers out here! It's also a bit of a throw-back to the 60's. They have tons of hippies- young and old ones. It's like Haight Ashbury in the 60's where everyone got the message to congregate in San Francisco. They've just moved north to Portland for the millennium. We couldn’t remember the last time we saw dred locks and tye-dyed t-shirts--for real, not as a fashion statement!! And, they do love their coffee (espressos, lattes,etc). There's a drive-thru espresso stand every few miles (kind of like the drive-thru daiquiris in Louisiana).
We walked through Old Town and Chinatown to visit the Saturday Market (which actually runs every weekend- on Saturday and Sunday. It was filled with vendors selling New Age crystals, tie-dyed shirts, wooden toys and an international food bazaar with the most amazing food. We spent two days and two lunches (the best gyros ever) there.
The neighborhoods were interesting- from the upscale (Newbury Street-esque) Pearl District to the Hawthorne- hippy-dippy- area. The downtown area is connected via a free trolley system- so access to all the shops and restaurants is easy. They have Powell’s bookstore- which covers an entire city block- and was packed with patrons.
We couldn’t visit Oregon without seeing the Cascades and Mt Hood. So we took a day to drive through the mountains, made a stop at horrifying Timberlake Lodge packed with teenage snowboarders.



The stop at the fish hatchery was fascinating. The salmon ladders were active and we were able to see the fish making their way through the ladders. We learned that salmon have a 2 second memory- so now John has officially declared himself “salmon brained”. We talked with a woman who’s sole job is counting fish. She sits in a small room with a keypad counter and counts the individual fish as they enter the ladder. She has to count them by species and also note any damage on their bodies (on a special counter). And we thought selling training was a horrible job!

Rocky Mountain High

From Santa Fe, we headed north to Denver--my old stomping grounds. What a change- the town has been "California-ized". After I left, the city started to become invaded by people escaping the high housing costs of California- and boy, does it show! Everyone is fit and perfectly dressed and there are tons of sidewalk cafes and great restaurants. The city is a "mile high"- so the air is cool and crisp and DRY and the days are almost always sunny. It's a beautiful climate- and the city is quite lovely- but it's still the American West and Denver is the only game in town for MILES... The only way to get to any other city is to get on a plane. (Now, if you like to ski, bike, climb mountains or do any other outdoor activities- you're in heaven. It's only a few hours to the mountains and places like Vail and Aspen - and the city has bike paths everywhere.)

I got to catch-up with my old friend, Pat

John got to spend some time with his brother, Henry.

I also got to see my old house. What a strange experience! The neighborhood was unrecognizable (in fact, it took a while for me to even recognize the place). In 1991, Piney Creek was the only development on Parker Avenue. Now, the entire street is filled with housing and retail developments. We had lunch at my favorite local bar and had a few margaritas.

We had a few engine problems (going over mountain passes, of course)- so we had a few days at the Cummins engine facilities outside Denver. It turned out that our oil pressure problem was due to a mis-calibrated dip-stick. So, they changed out the oil, re-calibrated the dip stick and the first problem was fixed. Then, heading to Grand Junction, Colorado (over the mountains), we had another warning buzzer- which took us to yet another Cummins dealer. We think they got it fixed (they upgraded the software on the engine--it's amazing the things that are measured via software on this engine).

Santa Fe

We spent a few days in Santa Fe, New Mexico. It was a second visit for both of us- and the novelty of the town had worn off. It actually was quite adorable- all the houses and building were adobe- in the Southwestern style (lots of pastels and Georgia O'Keefe paintings). They've managed to make the town a bit of a Southwestern Disney....everything was clean and had a SW theme- and it was VERY expensive. We were paying $15.00 for two margaritas and although the people watch was fairly amusing, it could get expensive to spend much time watching the scene. It was very artsy-fartsy- the entire town was filled with art galleries and exclusive clothing stores. Unfortunately, I wasn’t traveling with much of a shopper- so my shopping time was fairly limited. The entire square was filled with Indians (the American kind) selling their handmade wares on the sidewalk.

We took the city trolley tour and got to see a bit of the city as well as the out-lying residential areas.

The Big Texan Steak Ranch, Amarillo Texas

Somewhere west of OKC, the Wild West starts. As John said, "The women are short and stocky and the men are all beanpole thin with their eyes too close together. And all the men drive pickup trucks and wear tight jeans and cowboy hats". Fortunately, our trek through the Texas part of the journey was short- we drove from Oklahoma City through the Texas Panhandle to Amarillo.

Here, we found another city with only a few highlights. The first one was the "Cadillac Ranch". An eccentric Texas businessman and art patron contracted with some "artists" to create a monument in the middle of his wheat field. They came up with a tribute to the car- saying that what makes America great is the car....So, they buried 10 Cadillacs (the ones with big fins) hood first in the wheat field and let people take spray paint to them. Imagine the Texas landscape- miles and miles of nothingness with wheat fields and barbed wire fences- with 10 up-ended Cadillacs as the only thing on the horizon.

The only thing that could top the Cadillac Ranch was the "Big Texan Steak Ranch". Just a few blocks from our campsite was the site of the Big Texan -a restaurant that advertises for miles and miles via huge billboards "Free 72 oz Steak" (and in small letters, "If eaten in one hour".). And, of course, you also have to eat the salad, shrimp cocktail, baked potato and roll....We couldn't resist taking a peak in the restaurant- and found the list of successful diners-- they all weighed at least 260 pounds- some as much as 360!

OOOOOOklahoma!!!!

On Monday, we headed west to Tulsa, Oklahoma. At Oklahoma City, the "West" officially starts. We weren’t sure how we would react to the west....cowboys, cattle, and that whole Western mentality. We spent a night in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It was actually quite a lovely city. Somehow, I had expected hokie Okie-land- with hicks and cowboys. But, it was quite lovely and more sophisticated than we thought. Although, our trip to Oral Robert University was a trip. Oral Roberts making huge bucks pushing evangelical Christianity through the tellie. He has a university that looks a bit like "the Jetsons meet Jesus". The buildings are all very futuristic- and most of them are gold. Quite bizarre.

From Tulsa, we headed to Oklahoma City. And yes, we were singing "Oklahoma" all the way down the road (it's the State Song!) The only problem is that we only knew a few stanzas- so it was mostly "OOOOOOOOOOklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plains and the la-la-la, la-la-la la...." Since we took Route 66 between the cities, we also did a bit of "get your kicks on Route 66..."

It was strange to see a city so defined by a disaster-- the main tourist attraction in town was the site of the Oklahoma City (OKC) Bombing in 1995. The building was razed and they've put up a very moving memorial and museum. We explored the city- visiting Bricktown, their downtown building renovation project, and Stockyard City.

Branson

Branson - This is a place that John and I had always sworn we would NEVER visit- it's a bit like the Grand Old Opry and Dollywood (Dolly Parton's theme park) rolled into one. It's "Family Values" entertainment. But, the Cajuns swear that it's great fun and that the entertainment is great. So, knowing that we would never do this on our own, we decided to keep an open mind and see what the fuss is all about.

We had to make a stop for lunch at the Lamberts Restaurant, famous for their "Throwed Rolls" .

The Cajuns, the Razorbacks and the Yanks – Brenda and John, Huey and Katie, Charlie and Gloria and the two of us….what a strange combination. We checked into a great campsite in the heart of Branson. Branson is a place like no other. It was a bit like the scene in the Wizard of Oz when everything turns to Technicolor. Branson was every bit as strange as Oz. We were in the land of God, Family and Country. The city has grown up from nothing- to a huge development of theaters and shopping complexes- all in the last 15 years. It started with a few hillbilly theater shows- catering to families (no bad language, no alcohol and lots of family values). It's grown to a city filled with every conceivable kind of theater- shows running 3 times a day featuring country western, 60's, family acts. Since we were with the Cajuns, we had to make an attempt to be on our best behavior.

Charlie had managed to get tickets to multiple shows every day. On our first night, we went to a show called "The Bald Knobbers". It started with an M.C. and two "comedians". The two comedians were your amazing...one guy had one of those rubbery faces (the kind of guy who can take his lips and pull it up over his nose...). He was the 'talker'/joke teller (lots of hillbilly jokes). The other guy was called "Droopy Drawers"...didn't say much, but I guess was supposed to be funny in a Marx Brothers kind of way (ala Harpo- no talking, funny clothes and gestures). (Charlie did manage to "get into the act" - literally- ending up on the stage - and upstaging the comedian! In between the comic acts, there were musical acts featuring wholesome blondes singing anything from Celine Dion songs to Tammy Wynette ("Stand by your man"....) and cowboy singers doing country and western songs with a bit of bluegrass thrown in for good measure. The basic format of all the shows was something like this: It starts with a mix of comedy and songs, mostly country focusing on family values (Lots of songs about seeing your children grow up and little romantic couple medleys). Then, they transition to a bit of gospel and onward Christian soldiers songs. At intermission, they stop for an "Infomercial" before letting you head to the restroom. For 5-10 minutes, they hawk their CD's, DVD's of the show, cute hats and mugs and t-shirts and 8x10 glossy photos (which they will autograph during the intermission). They continue with the Jesus/Family values songs/comedy after intermission. And, finally, there's the huge finale where they have all the veterans stand up and have the obligatory clapping....huge American flags on the video monitors and the maudlin songs about being a lonely soldier. These shows are designed to have the audiences going from hand clapping, foot stomping to wiping away their tears to hands over your hearts patriotism. I told John to consider this his PhD work in American culture.

After the Bald Knobbers, we had a morning show of the "Brett Family".... Surprise, surprise- they were Mormons (this entire town is filled with "family acts"- and they all appear to be Mormons...ala the Osmonds). John swears that it's a huge propaganda mission from the Mormons to promote their religion by showing these happy, fulfilled families - all clean cut and talented and talking about their faith and missions.... It was quite an experience watching "Brianna Brett", the 23 year old Brigham Young University student and oldest child of the Brett family showing off her multitude of talents. Freshly scrubbed, blonde haired- this girl could do it all- from singing to dancing (ballet) to classical piano. Her mother, with long blonde hair- almost waist length- wore matching mother/daughter dresses during the acts and also did singing and dancing...as well as reciting her poem, "I am a Veteran".... This poem had the crowd in tears (you could even buy a laminated placemat with the poem on it!!)

The Country Western/Bluegrass/Comedy show was good. Although it followed the standard format, the comedian/singer was quite funny and the musicians were really, really good. They didn't pull on the heartstrings quite as much as the other two shows--although the last number about being a soldier had images showing troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and happy Iraqis waving American flags and the Saadam statue being pulled down. They didn't show the suicide bombers, dead Iraqis, Americans and "coalition soldiers"- or any recent events. It was really pretty disturbing- to see those images being presented- as if questioning the war was un-patriotic. While this has been a very enlightening stop for us--it's also been so disturbing. We truly don't understand our country anymore. The fundamental Christianity and blind patriotism is truly frightening. We feel like an island in a sea of conservatism.

We had one absolutely spectacular show in Branson on Sunday afternoon...It was called "Hank and my Honky Tonk Heroes" - and it was really well done. The guy who created the role of Hank Williams on Broadway has taken his show to Branson and tells the story of Hank Williams and his life via his music. We're not much of a Country Western music fan- but Hank Williams life and music is extraordinary. He only lived to age 29- and wrote over 400 songs (songs like Your Cheatin Heart and my favorite- "son of a gun gonna have great fun on the Bayou”).

We followed our Hank Williams afternoon with a "Cajun fish fry" by our RV's. One thing about these Cajun men- they cook! I was talking to one of the Arkansas women when we were in Mountain View, Arkansas and she looked at her husband and said, "When he's gone, I'm gettin me one of these Cajun men--they cook..."