Branson

Branson - This is a place that John and I had always sworn we would NEVER visit- it's a bit like the Grand Old Opry and Dollywood (Dolly Parton's theme park) rolled into one. It's "Family Values" entertainment. But, the Cajuns swear that it's great fun and that the entertainment is great. So, knowing that we would never do this on our own, we decided to keep an open mind and see what the fuss is all about.

We had to make a stop for lunch at the Lamberts Restaurant, famous for their "Throwed Rolls" .

The Cajuns, the Razorbacks and the Yanks – Brenda and John, Huey and Katie, Charlie and Gloria and the two of us….what a strange combination. We checked into a great campsite in the heart of Branson. Branson is a place like no other. It was a bit like the scene in the Wizard of Oz when everything turns to Technicolor. Branson was every bit as strange as Oz. We were in the land of God, Family and Country. The city has grown up from nothing- to a huge development of theaters and shopping complexes- all in the last 15 years. It started with a few hillbilly theater shows- catering to families (no bad language, no alcohol and lots of family values). It's grown to a city filled with every conceivable kind of theater- shows running 3 times a day featuring country western, 60's, family acts. Since we were with the Cajuns, we had to make an attempt to be on our best behavior.

Charlie had managed to get tickets to multiple shows every day. On our first night, we went to a show called "The Bald Knobbers". It started with an M.C. and two "comedians". The two comedians were your amazing...one guy had one of those rubbery faces (the kind of guy who can take his lips and pull it up over his nose...). He was the 'talker'/joke teller (lots of hillbilly jokes). The other guy was called "Droopy Drawers"...didn't say much, but I guess was supposed to be funny in a Marx Brothers kind of way (ala Harpo- no talking, funny clothes and gestures). (Charlie did manage to "get into the act" - literally- ending up on the stage - and upstaging the comedian! In between the comic acts, there were musical acts featuring wholesome blondes singing anything from Celine Dion songs to Tammy Wynette ("Stand by your man"....) and cowboy singers doing country and western songs with a bit of bluegrass thrown in for good measure. The basic format of all the shows was something like this: It starts with a mix of comedy and songs, mostly country focusing on family values (Lots of songs about seeing your children grow up and little romantic couple medleys). Then, they transition to a bit of gospel and onward Christian soldiers songs. At intermission, they stop for an "Infomercial" before letting you head to the restroom. For 5-10 minutes, they hawk their CD's, DVD's of the show, cute hats and mugs and t-shirts and 8x10 glossy photos (which they will autograph during the intermission). They continue with the Jesus/Family values songs/comedy after intermission. And, finally, there's the huge finale where they have all the veterans stand up and have the obligatory clapping....huge American flags on the video monitors and the maudlin songs about being a lonely soldier. These shows are designed to have the audiences going from hand clapping, foot stomping to wiping away their tears to hands over your hearts patriotism. I told John to consider this his PhD work in American culture.

After the Bald Knobbers, we had a morning show of the "Brett Family".... Surprise, surprise- they were Mormons (this entire town is filled with "family acts"- and they all appear to be Mormons...ala the Osmonds). John swears that it's a huge propaganda mission from the Mormons to promote their religion by showing these happy, fulfilled families - all clean cut and talented and talking about their faith and missions.... It was quite an experience watching "Brianna Brett", the 23 year old Brigham Young University student and oldest child of the Brett family showing off her multitude of talents. Freshly scrubbed, blonde haired- this girl could do it all- from singing to dancing (ballet) to classical piano. Her mother, with long blonde hair- almost waist length- wore matching mother/daughter dresses during the acts and also did singing and dancing...as well as reciting her poem, "I am a Veteran".... This poem had the crowd in tears (you could even buy a laminated placemat with the poem on it!!)

The Country Western/Bluegrass/Comedy show was good. Although it followed the standard format, the comedian/singer was quite funny and the musicians were really, really good. They didn't pull on the heartstrings quite as much as the other two shows--although the last number about being a soldier had images showing troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and happy Iraqis waving American flags and the Saadam statue being pulled down. They didn't show the suicide bombers, dead Iraqis, Americans and "coalition soldiers"- or any recent events. It was really pretty disturbing- to see those images being presented- as if questioning the war was un-patriotic. While this has been a very enlightening stop for us--it's also been so disturbing. We truly don't understand our country anymore. The fundamental Christianity and blind patriotism is truly frightening. We feel like an island in a sea of conservatism.

We had one absolutely spectacular show in Branson on Sunday afternoon...It was called "Hank and my Honky Tonk Heroes" - and it was really well done. The guy who created the role of Hank Williams on Broadway has taken his show to Branson and tells the story of Hank Williams and his life via his music. We're not much of a Country Western music fan- but Hank Williams life and music is extraordinary. He only lived to age 29- and wrote over 400 songs (songs like Your Cheatin Heart and my favorite- "son of a gun gonna have great fun on the Bayou”).

We followed our Hank Williams afternoon with a "Cajun fish fry" by our RV's. One thing about these Cajun men- they cook! I was talking to one of the Arkansas women when we were in Mountain View, Arkansas and she looked at her husband and said, "When he's gone, I'm gettin me one of these Cajun men--they cook..."