We had originally planned to stay in Canberra for Australia Day, the Aussie 4th of July. But, after two days and a glance at the schedule of events, we opted to get on the road.
We had yet another long Australian drive. We started to understand Bill Bryson’s description of “Civilized Australia”—that part of Australia from Brisbane in the north to Adelaide in the south and west. That area covers about 5% of Australia’s land surface and nearly all of its important cities. In the whole of the continent, this is pretty much the only part that is conventionally habitable. They call it the “Boomerang Coast” because of its shape. We found that anything – even a minor tourist attraction – provided a welcome break from the everlasting drives.
The basic story - Ned came from Irish stock - a fairly lawless group. He spent years on the run from the Australian police and when they heard that he was hiding in the town of Glenrowan, they headed off to arrest him. The town had heard of their plans and so the entire town was waiting when they arrived- hoping to see a real gunfight. Ned came out from his hiding place at dawn-dressed in a suit of homemade armour. Since the armour didn't cover his legs, the police shot him in the leg. He managed to make it to the woods where he was captured. The police escorted him to the jail in Melbourne where he was tried and executed. His famous last words - "Such is life". Since then, his life has been romanticized in movies- one starring Mick Jagger as Ned- and books.
I
n a typical Aussie town- a few pubs and stores, the highlight of Glenrowan is the "World Class Tourist Attraction" - "Ned Kelly's Last Stand". We were the only people waiting to buy tickets- but based on Bill Bryson's description- knew that this was one tourist attraction we didn't want to miss. While there's no way to compete with Bryson's description of what came next, I'll give it a try.
We had yet another long Australian drive. We started to understand Bill Bryson’s description of “Civilized Australia”—that part of Australia from Brisbane in the north to Adelaide in the south and west. That area covers about 5% of Australia’s land surface and nearly all of its important cities. In the whole of the continent, this is pretty much the only part that is conventionally habitable. They call it the “Boomerang Coast” because of its shape. We found that anything – even a minor tourist attraction – provided a welcome break from the everlasting drives.
Our first stop was at the Dog on the Tuckerbox. The story of the dog was put into verse when the Australian pioneers were traveling in bullock wagons, pushing their way into the unexplored interior. The story goes that a dog accompanied every wagon, as a faithful friend and guardian of the teamster’s possessions. “And the dog sits on the tucker box, five miles from Gundagai.”. Based on the verse, a monument was built at the Five Mile celebrating the pioneers and their faithful dogs.
As we drove, Bill Bryson’s book provided entertaining stories of his travels in Australia- and also provided a great tour guide. We were laughing hysterically reading his description of the Ned Kelly Museum in Glenrowan. A look at the map and we realized that with a minor diversion, we could experience it first hand. So, it was off to Ned Kelly’s Last Stand and KellyLand. Unlike the U.S. with it’s western law enforcement heroes (Wyatt Earp, etc), the Aussies have no “good guy” heroes. Their folk heroes are all bad guys- Billy the Kid types- known as bushrangers. The most famous of them is Ned Kelly.
As we drove, Bill Bryson’s book provided entertaining stories of his travels in Australia- and also provided a great tour guide. We were laughing hysterically reading his description of the Ned Kelly Museum in Glenrowan. A look at the map and we realized that with a minor diversion, we could experience it first hand. So, it was off to Ned Kelly’s Last Stand and KellyLand. Unlike the U.S. with it’s western law enforcement heroes (Wyatt Earp, etc), the Aussies have no “good guy” heroes. Their folk heroes are all bad guys- Billy the Kid types- known as bushrangers. The most famous of them is Ned Kelly.
The basic story - Ned came from Irish stock - a fairly lawless group. He spent years on the run from the Australian police and when they heard that he was hiding in the town of Glenrowan, they headed off to arrest him. The town had heard of their plans and so the entire town was waiting when they arrived- hoping to see a real gunfight. Ned came out from his hiding place at dawn-dressed in a suit of homemade armour. Since the armour didn't cover his legs, the police shot him in the leg. He managed to make it to the woods where he was captured. The police escorted him to the jail in Melbourne where he was tried and executed. His famous last words - "Such is life". Since then, his life has been romanticized in movies- one starring Mick Jagger as Ned- and books.I
n a typical Aussie town- a few pubs and stores, the highlight of Glenrowan is the "World Class Tourist Attraction" - "Ned Kelly's Last Stand". We were the only people waiting to buy tickets- but based on Bill Bryson's description- knew that this was one tourist attraction we didn't want to miss. While there's no way to compete with Bryson's description of what came next, I'll give it a try. The "show" begins in an old saloon - with a long bar, some dummies- some standing by the bar, some sitting around table, a German Shepard and all of the old timey bar paraphanalia. Suddenly the lights dim and shots are fired - when the room got lighter, the dummies started to move (not like Disney animatronics, but stiff, jerky movements), the piano would play, a boy on a trapeze swung back and forth - and the German Shepard lifted his leg on the bar. It really was so bad that you had to love it!
Once this scene was played out- we went through a series of rooms - not really sure what we were looking at. In fact, the story was so incomprehensible, that we went to the café next door and asked the locals about the real story. We couldn’t leave without a photo of the proprietor of Ned’s Last Stand – and he proudly showed us his latest addition to the show- an 8’ tall Ned Kelly head (in armour) with eyes that light up. You just had to see it to believe it.
With spirits high, we continued our journey towards Melbourne. The plains turned golden, the landscape became barren and arid. We drove for miles and miles with the same scene out the window. Then, almost like Dorothy’s first sighting of the Emerald City, we turned a corner and could see Melbourne beckoning on the horizon. Suddenly, the arid, empty scene turned to busy city streets and store fronts in multiple languages – Turkish, Arabic, Thai, and Chinese.
With no detailed map, we followed our nose into the center of the city and found our way to our hotel, The Downtowner on Lygon. We dumped the car, threw our bags in the room and headed out on the streets. Our hotel was located at the border of the CBD and Little Italy. We took a stroll into Little Italy- blocks and blocks of outdoor cafes and restaurants- Italian, Thai, Greek, Turkish, Nepalese. The touts were out- everyone offering free wine, free appetizers – just “try my restaurant”.
With spirits high, we continued our journey towards Melbourne. The plains turned golden, the landscape became barren and arid. We drove for miles and miles with the same scene out the window. Then, almost like Dorothy’s first sighting of the Emerald City, we turned a corner and could see Melbourne beckoning on the horizon. Suddenly, the arid, empty scene turned to busy city streets and store fronts in multiple languages – Turkish, Arabic, Thai, and Chinese.
With no detailed map, we followed our nose into the center of the city and found our way to our hotel, The Downtowner on Lygon. We dumped the car, threw our bags in the room and headed out on the streets. Our hotel was located at the border of the CBD and Little Italy. We took a stroll into Little Italy- blocks and blocks of outdoor cafes and restaurants- Italian, Thai, Greek, Turkish, Nepalese. The touts were out- everyone offering free wine, free appetizers – just “try my restaurant”.
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