The day of the boat trip dawned and I was glad to be getting away from this domestic scene. We had to sit about for most of the morning however while Kaye organised the mountain of food to take with us. She had persuaded Ben and Meagan to come with us so they also set about sorting out which CDs to take and which videos and board games Gordon, John and Keith meanwhile had gone to the bottle store and stocked up with quite a bit of wine and beer – well, enough to ensure profits in the Barossa Valley hit record highs. The kitchen floor was completely covered with bags of food- an array of absolutely everything imaginable- enough to feed the entire OZ cricket team for a month.
Finally, at 1.30 in lovely weather, we left for the boat. Our first sight of the boat was breathtaking. There were 6 boats docked by the river- and they were all HUGE. Next door was the monster of all houseboats- 3 stories, room for 14 people and a hot tub on the top deck. While our boat wasn’t quite as large (a good thing since we were not exactly awash in nautical experience), it was gorgeous. We knew it had 5 bedrooms but were surprised at just how big it was. We had a cabin on the right hand side – is that the port side or the starboard? – John & Debs had one on that side too with a bathroom between us. Keith and Kaye and Meagan had a similar arrangement on the other side with Ben’s cabin being at the end. The galley was fully equipped with a full size fridge, dishwasher and everything else you could want and we had an upstairs deck with sun-loungers in case the weather stayed sunny. This was looking good. After loading all the food and drink and being amazed that the thing still floated afterwards, a guy came on board and gave the others a few minutes tuition on how to steer and park the thing (I decided I was having nothing to do with the workings of it) and off we went. Kaye had decided that Ben should be the main ‘driver’ so he took first watch but in time, they all decided they would take a turn. Unfortunately, John was driving at the point where we decided to park up and for some reason, the boat decided to come in sideways. The attempt to park was disastrous and we ended up stuck on a sandbank.
Gordon said that it didn’t seem very deep where the sandbank was, so if all the guys went into the water, they might be able to push the boat off so they all stripped down to their trolleys and braved the freezing, muddy river. And sure enough, they managed to free us so Benny jumped back in to put the engine in reverse, John jumped back and cut his foot on the gangplank and as for Gordon and Keith, well they had a different experience altogether. I didn’t realise at first that they weren’t on board. I wondered though why we were heading back towards the shore having reversed into the middle of the river and on asking the question, was told that ‘we’re not all on board’. It turned out that Keith and Gordon had been left behind when the boat had pulled back and what made things worse was that Keith couldn’t swim. I later learned that he had been clinging on to Gordon who had decided to get them under an overhanging tree so that Keith could hold on to a branch with one hand and to Gordon with the other. Now bearing in mind the myriad of weird and wonderful creatures that inhabit the lakes and rivers of Australia, you can understand why we were a bit anxious! Apart from anything else, the water was freezing and they couldn’t bring the boat too far in towards the land or it would again become stuck on the sandbank. My memory of this moment was of seeing two bobbing heads and two very white faces. Gordon had an idea however – if we could throw them the tow rope, Keith could pull himself towards the boat and Gordon could swim back so that’s what we did. Keith loped up that rope like a monkey – I’ve never seen him move so quickly and soon they were both on board again wrapped in blankets, shivering but at least safe. We thought that was the end of this adventure but no, more was to come.
John re-took the wheel and we moved up river a bit until we saw what looked like a better place to tie up. Wouldn’t you know though that yet again we came in sideways and yet again, we were stuck! And this time we were stuck fast - nothing would shift us. We messed around for a while trying various maneuvers until in desperation, we phoned the guy from the boat company but he didn’t seem to be worried at all and suggested we leave it till the morning when the high tide might make it easier to float off. He suggested we try again then and if no luck, to call him back.
John felt that we should at least tie-up to something. So, he waded through the reeds to the bank to get at least one line tied up to a tree. His entry back onto the deck was less than wonderful- as he stepped on something that wiggled under his feet and he literally jumped back onto the boat. So we spent our first night on the boat in a bit of a mess; I still had a cold and was developing a terrible cough and there definitely seemed to be two camps developing – the Aussies on one side and the rest on the other. They spent the evening watching their videos in the saloon while John, Debs, Gordon and me stayed outside drinking wine. Oh dear.Next morning, we phoned the guy first thing . Gordon took the wheel while taking instructions on how to fishtail the boat off the sandbank. It actually turned out to be quite an easy maneuver and we were on our way in no time.
The experience of sailing up the river though was lovely although the weather was still a bit chilly when you were out of the sun. We saw lots of wildlife and especially birds like pelicans and Gullahs that were new to us. We’d been told that there were lots of carp in the river but that they were horrible to eat (I believe the recipe said to warm a rock, put the carp on the rock and place it in the coals until it was cooked. Then throw the carp away and eat the rock!) Anyway, we tried fishing for carp and both ‘camps’ managed to catch a fish then throw it away but even then, the Aussies fished from the back of the boat while the rest of us fished from the front. Anyway, the day passed amicably enough and we had cracked the parking (or is it docking) of the boat by now.
Dinner that evening was something out of a John Water’s movie. Benny’s ice chests filled with meat were unpacked and the cooking began. The 8 of us sat down to a table piled with food- 8 large steaks, a plate piled high with burgers, a third plate filled with sausages, cole slaw, potato salad, lettuce salad and bread. About half way through dinner, Ben announced with dismay, “We forgot the lamb chops!” With the wine flowing freely, John and Gordon stayed up, got royally ‘pissed’ and John stubbed his toe on a plank on the front deck. When Gordon saw blood flowing from John’s toe, he doused it with antiseptic and bandaged it. We knew that Gordon had to be royally drunk to even touch John’s toe—Gordon HATES feet!
On Thursday we began the journey back. The weather was sunny but with a cold wind and the four of us sat upstairs on the loungers and to pass the time, made up collective nouns such as “A guffaw of gallahs”, “An armada of pelicans”, “A convention of cormorants” and later in the holiday, having continued the game we added “An aroma of crotchers” and “An abomination of Abo’s” (These will become clearer later in the tale) Gave us a laugh anyway.On Friday 11th, we arrived back and unloaded the boat. I had an idea that Kaye had taken far too much stuff and this was confirmed when we were unloading all the food – 5 dozen eggs to take back !! – how many had we started off with?? 2 full jars of gravy mix! Eventually though, we unloaded the boat and loaded up the two cars and then didn’t I go and make myself unpopular once again by suggesting that we have an Indian take-away that night when according to Kaye’s schedule, we should’ve been eating at Benny’s. Her face was thunderous and she was slapping her spreadsheet with a pencil to show that we had dared to deviate from the itinerary. To be honest, I didn’t care by then as she was starting to spoil the holiday and besides, I felt so rough that I was beginning to think I was getting pneumonia again. When we finally got back to Adelaide, Kaye took pity on me as she must’ve seen how down I was and she took me across town to her doctor. He diagnosed a chest infection, gave me a prescription for penicillin and from that moment on, I began to feel better. We got home to check email and found that we had come to terms on the house and the sales contract had been sent-Fed Express-for our signature. Keith drove us over to the Fed Express office near the airport, we picked up the contract, signed it and shipped it back immediately. What a relief! That evening, we had the Indian – and very nice it was too!
The next morning, we went to pick up the rental car leaving Jean behind to do some washing. When we got back, all hell had broken loose--and, although it was a bad situation, the blow-up had given us our freedom. Jean had to take the rap, but we were all thrilled to be on the road- just the four of us! We had no reservations- only the most basic of maps- and a very long drive ahead of us.
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